


Aftermath

by Aka_Karasu (Raven052)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Caring Hange, Equally stubborn Erwin, Flashbacks, Gen, Nightmares, Post A Choice with No Regrets, dealing with grief, stubborn levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 10:48:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11378637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven052/pseuds/Aka_Karasu
Summary: The events of A Choice with No Regrets explained how Levi came to join the Survey Corps and how he came to follow Erwin.But not everything was simple.This is what happened after, and how the bond between Erwin and Levi began to form.





	Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> Please note: Everything here is platonic. If you want to read more into it, you are free too, it's about the beginnings of Levi and Erwin's friendship and comradeship .

That first night after they got back from that cursed excursion, Erwin almost allowed himself to believe this was going to be easy. The talented Underground stray he’d staked so much on had seemingly been tamed, everything had paid off.  
Levi had followed, dutifully if sullenly behind Erwin as they made their way back to the barracks. Every now and then Erwin would check behind him and find Levi, keeping the same distance, still looking straight ahead.  
He’d known, of course Erwin had known not just about the plan against him, he’d also known that Levi had had every intention of killing him himself. He’d known why too. Erwin had embarrassed him, and perhaps it had been even worse that he’d done it while still in the Underground. How long had Levi built up his reputation, only to have it dragged through the mud, in plain sight, for any passer-by to witness. Not just a matter of pride, perhaps? A survival instinct.  
In any case, Levi’s days spent in the dark were done now. He was a Scout. Those survival instincts would only be needed against the titan’s now.  
Not a single word was exchanged when they reached home. Without awaiting orders, Levi took his horse to the stables and made his way to the barracks.  
When someone mentioned that perhaps more discipline was in order, Erwin shrugged them off.  
“He lost more than you can understand today. Let him be for now.” 

Erwin went about the usual business. Wash, change of clothes, report, dinner and then retiring to his office until well into the night.  
He did wonder about Levi, of course he was still curious about him. As much as he knew a portion of what would be going through Levi’s mind, he couldn’t help wondering the rest. 

^^  
It was late, so late you could almost call it early and Erwin was just turning in to bed. He often didn’t sleep until late, but tonight he had another reason for doing so. He’d wanted to wait, in case Levi caused disturbances. It wouldn’t be a surprise if he did, but Erwin wanted to make sure he was the one to handle it.  
So far, the night had remained peaceful.  
Erwin checked the window once again.  
He saw what he’d been expecting all night and headed down again.  
Levi was heading to the stables, his cloak wrapped tight around him.  
As Erwin approached, he noted that other than the cloak, Levi appeared to be in his own clothes. He wasn’t wearing any of the straps or equipment either.  
“Where are you going, Levi?”  
Levi paused, turning his head to glare at Erwin.  
“Fuck off.” He muttered, carrying on.  
Erwin got in front of him, stopping him in his tracks suddenly.  
“Where are you going?” Erwin repeated, calmly.  
Levi’s fists clenched tightly, he refused to look at Erwin, keeping his eyes cast to the side. He remained silent.  
“You look like you’re getting your horse. Are you planning to leave? You know that if you leave, the Military Police still have the right to take you in. As far as they’re concerned, you’ll be a runaway from your duty as a Scout. You do know the punishment for- “  
“The Military Police never managed to catch up to me Underground, what makes you think they’ll manage it up here?” Levi said, coldly.  
“So that’s your plan?” Erwin pressed.  
Levi scowled.  
“No”  
“Then?”  
Levi’s hands clenched then unclenched. A few more times as he decided how much to tell Erwin. Clearly he’d already decided that he was giving something up, at least.  
“I can’t… Just leave them out there.” He finally said.  
Still Levi’s eyes wouldn’t meet Erwin’s, but it seemed a little of the tension had fallen away. His guard was just that slightest bit down.  
Erwin nodded. “I understand.”  
Levi looked up to continue, to explain further, but Erwin beat him to it.  
“You can’t go though.”  
“Why?” Levi snapped, finally looking up, that fire returning to his eyes. “Because it goes against the rules? I don’t give a- “  
“Because it is too dangerous.” Erwin continued, barely raising his voice. “You’re not even going out there armed.”  
Levi shrugged, looking away. “I’m armed enough.” He muttered.  
“A knife won’t do you much good against a titan.”  
“So what do you care?” Levi pushed past Erwin. “If I don’t come back, it’s not like it matters. We’re all expendable.”  
“Not you.” Erwin countered, grabbing Levi’s shoulder, pulling him back. “You’re not.”  
Levi shrugged him off, turning around once again to face him. “Why?! Why not me? If everyone else can die so easily and no one notices, why am I different? WHY?!”  
Erwin grabbed both arms, holding him still, trying to keep him in place. “Because you are talented! Because you are strong. Because you are everything we need to survive! To push forward!”  
Levi fixed him with the coldest, hardest stare Erwin had ever witnessed. It sent a chill through him. “And anyone less can just die?” Levi said, the coldness of his voice matching his eyes.  
Erwin shook his head. “You misunderstand, Levi. With you… Less will die. Some will still, and we remember them, we honour them. Do not mistake our resolve for heartlessness. We honour our dead, and we thank them for their sacrifice.” 

“Then understand! I need…” Levi looked away. “I need to… Honour… Them. They…”  
“How will you honour them?” Erwin asked, patiently, loosening his grip a little.  
“I- “  
“Will you go out, bring back their remains, bury them?”  
Levi fell back into silence.  
“Have you already forgotten what you’d be bringing back? Will forcing yourself back into that scene really ever be able to bring you closure? Will you find any comfort in what you carry home?”  
Levi sank to his knees, the memories of the battlefield returning to him. His head dropped to his hands.  
Erwin crouched in front of him. “You can still honour them. Remember them. Hold their memories close. Use their sacrifice to-“  
“I’ll not use their deaths!” Levi snapped.  
“I’m sorry… That was a poor choice of words. But you understand, don’t you? I think you’ve understood since before we came back.” 

Slowly, Levi nodded.  
Erwin got to his feet.  
“Return to bed, Levi. Tomorrow we restart training.”  
It took all the will in the world for Erwin not to look back.  
He knew Levi hadn’t moved, was still on the ground. 

^^  
He’d known Levi wouldn’t show up to training, but he didn’t send anyone after him.  
It was reported than Levi had been found, laying on his bed, fully clothed in civilian clothes, staring at the bunk above his. He refused to move or acknowledge anyone talking to him.  
“I get it, it was his first expedition and he lost both his friends. But everyone’s lost someone, we can’t-“  
“We can give him allowances and we will.” Erwin said, simply.  
“… Squad Leader…”  
“Allow it. It won’t last.”  
That night, however, Erwin was forced to stop ignoring it.  
Not long past midnight, the first crash was heard, quickly followed by more.  
Everyone else was quickly roused, but Erwin was quickest. He knew, instinctively he knew what the root of this was.  
He found Levi in the equipment room.  
An entire wall full of blades had been toppled. Empty gas canisters were dented and strewn about the floor.  
Levi was sat in the middle of all of it, breathing heavily.  
What shocked Erwin most of all was that he wasn’t alone.  
Hange was there too, attempting to see to a wound to Levi’s arm. It appeared that somewhere amongst all this destruction, Levi had hurt himself.  
Hange looked up. “Erwin!” Their gaze flitted between Erwin and Levi. “N- now. Don’t get mad at him. I think… I think he suffered some kind of flashback and it… Erwin we’ve all suffered from them from time to time. His was just more… Violent than yours or mine.”  
Levi was staring off, neither confirming nor denying any of this.  
Erwin nodded, smiling gently at Hange.  
“It’s alright, Hange. But you can let me handle this from now.” He stepped closer, his gaze shifting over to Levi, eyes fixed upon the other man.  
Hange continued looking between them, fingers twitching anxiously.  
“Hange.” Erwin said, softly. “Really, it’s fine. I will look after Levi from here on.”  
A slight frown of uncertainty as Hange checked the makeshift bandage, before standing to leave.  
Hange paused at Erwin’s side. “You know his value, don’t you, Erwin? Allow him longer to settle… We need him. Seeing his skills… Think of all we could achieve!”  
Erwin held up his hand. “I well know his worth.” He said, softly.  
With one curt nod, Hange finally left.  
Levi remained on the floor, scowling bitterly at his hand. The knuckles looked sore and a little torn. He’d done more damage than he’d meant to.  
Fact was, he hadn’t meant to do this damage at all.  
Hange was right. It had been a flashback, and something stronger and more vivid too. A darkness that had clouded him. He couldn’t sleep, because there laid the nightmare scene, played on an endless loop. And this time… Even waking he couldn’t escape it.  
This damage had been done while Levi had sought to find his way out of its hold.  
Yet. Still… It persisted. The darkness creeping in on the edges.  
Levi was out of his own control, and he had no idea what to do about it.  
Erwin read the most important parts of this without Levi having to say a word.  
As he looked down at the other man, saw him bloodied and covered in the fine sheen of sweat amongst the destruction he had created, Erwin knew.  
He knew Levi was out of control. And he knew it wasn’t something Levi could handle on his own.  
Erwin crouched down, and offered his hand.  
“Levi.” He said, softly. “Come with me.”  
Levi didn’t look towards him, and he didn’t take the offered hand, but he did get to his feet. Erwin watched in wonder at how smooth Levi’s movements were, though injured and disorientated.  
In silence, Erwin led Levi out of the room and then up the stairs.  
Erwin had made some plans for this, though at one stage he’d thought it wouldn’t be necessary. He saw no reason to dwell on this however, and simply continued leading the way, Levi following on a little behind.  
Erwin stopped at a long line of doors and pulled out a key.  
He’d taken them to his own room.  
Levi cast a glance around the room. It was sparse, neat and tidy, few things on display. Larger than many rooms Levi had inhabited over the years. Levi folded his arms, refusing to step in further than the doorway.  
“I’m not sleeping with you, if that’s your plan.” Levi said, darkly.  
Erwin looked around, for a moment a look of shock passed over his face. And then he chuckled brightly.  
“Oh. No, Levi you’ve misunderstood. You won’t be sharing this room with me.”  
He walked across the room. Beside a desk with a small pile of neatly stacked papers there was another door. This Erwin also opened.  
Levi leaned forward a little, his curiosity peaking but still holding to his refusal to move.  
“It’s a guest room. Though occasionally it’s used for more troublesome sorts too. You can decide which of those two you’d prefer to be treated as.” Erwin said.  
Levi scowled. “It’s not as if I’m a guest if I’m one of your soldiers, is it?”  
“Not a guest to the Scouts, no. But you are a guest in my quarters. Unless you’d prefer to be treated as a soldier in need of special discipline, or even a criminal.”  
Levi’s scowl only deepened. “That’s what I am though, aren’t I? A defective soldier?”  
Erwin opened his mouth as if to say something, but Levi didn’t allow him the time.  
Arms dropping and his hands balling into fists, Levi raised his voice. It was only slight, but the malice beneath it was plain to hear. “Or why not call me a shitty, worthless criminal? That’s what everyone still sees me as, don’t they? No matter what. It’s how they’ll always see me. Why do you keep pretending otherwise? Even you still see me as a fucking stray from the Underground in need of proper behaviour training, right? Stop! Pretending!”  
Caught off guard, Levi wasn’t quite quick enough to stop Erwin grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the door.  
Levi was quick to react though, raising his free fist to aim at Erwin.  
Erwin had predicted this too and grabbed his other arm.  
In swift movements Levi couldn’t see from behind him, sturdy handcuffs circled his wrists and snapped closed.  
To Erwin’s surprise, instead of fighting back, Levi relaxed, almost going limp against Erwin.  
“You see… You see…” Levi muttered, a hint of sadness in his voice.  
Erwin guided Levi into the room without a word, and led him over to the bed.  
Levi immediately laid down, turning on his side, away from Erwin, curling his legs up slightly.  
Erwin looked down, over Levi, puzzling over him, trying to figure him out.  
Every time he thought he understood Levi, he did something Erwin hadn’t predicted. He’d expected Levi to fight harder after he’d been bound. And yet, instead now he was faced with this docile creature curled up on the bed.  
Erwin crouched down, and placed a hand on Levi’s shoulder. The other man flinched slightly under the touch, but didn’t shake him off.  
“Levi. I don’t see you as a criminal. But I do see you as someone in need of help. If I must restrain you in able to help you, I won’t hesitate to do so.”  
Levi said nothing, his open eyes staring at the wall. 

“Would you like me to remove your restraints so you may sleep better?” Erwin asked.  
Still he got no answer, so he left Levi as he was, carefully closing the door behind him. He didn’t lock it, sensing he had little need to.  
^^  
The next morning, Erwin went to the room Levi was in before doing anything else. He knocked gently so as not to alarm Levi and then gently pushed the door open.  
Levi was still laid on his side, his back turned away from the door. It looked as if he hadn’t moved since Erwin had left him.  
“Would you like to come down for breakfast, Levi?” Erwin asked, gently.  
Just as he’d been last night, Levi made no reply.  
Erwin mused that it was lucky for both of them that he was such a patient man.  
Erwin stepped into the room, and unfastened the shackles around Levi’s wrists.  
His arms relaxed, but otherwise Levi made no other movements. Erwin leaned a little closer, feeling the unsettling need to make sure Levi was in fact still breathing.  
Levi’s eyes were open and they shifted, briefly to meet Erwin’s gaze, then quickly away again.  
“If you wish to join me, feel free. And should you wish to attend training today, I would be most pleased to see that.”  
The scowl returned to Levi’s face and, quick as blinking, he was on his feet, suddenly pinning Erwin to the wall with one arm.  
“Does it seem I need training?” Levi hissed, dropping his hold as quick as he’d gained it. He’d made his point and that was all that was needed in this situation.  
“In our ways? Yes, Levi, you do.”  
Levi sniffed. “You mean my behaviour.”  
“That too.”  
Levi turned his back on Erwin once more.  
“I’ll return later, Levi. Should you change your mind in the meantime, I’m certain you’ll be able to find your way.”  
^^  
Levi did not appear all day, though Erwin did still have to deal with the aftermath of the previous night. His Commander had gotten to the supply room before Erwin could arrange a clean-up and it had sent Commander Shadis into a frenzy.  
After calmly explaining the situation, Erwin found that the Commander was not much appeased.  
“And where is he now?” Shadis demanded.  
“I believe he’s still in the guest room of my quarters, unless he’s decided to come down for training by now.” 

The Commader had looked ready to offer a harsh rant in return of this, but instead he held back.  
“He may have proven his worth, Erwin. But if he keeps carrying on like… Like a wild animal like this, we may have to reconsider this arrangement.”  
“Please, Commander, have a little more patience.” 

Walking towards the door, Commander Shadis paused once more. “I’ll be patient. But know that it has its limits.”  
Erwin knew then he had limited time left to work with.  
^^  
Levi had remained as Erwin had left him all day, though he’d laid out on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.  
Erwin stopped at the door, leaning against the doorframe.  
“So. What’s the plan here, Levi? Going to remain in here forever? Or would you rather start becoming a useful member of the Scouts?”  
Levi tutted. “Useful. Sure.”  
Erwin sighed, at least glad to have gotten some response from him. “Shall I leave you unchained tonight?”  
“So long as you’re you don’t mind a criminal in the room next to yours.”  
Erwin frowned. “Stop that. You’re not a criminal, not anymore.”  
Levi turned his head slightly, meeting Erwin’s gaze.  
A similar feeling that Erwin had felt when they’d first come face to face washed over him. Those eyes, that gaze, bored deep into you, so much so that it felt like the man before you could see your every doubt, your every weakness.  
“Am I not?” Levi asked, simply. “I’ve been stealing since I was small, brawling from the same age. I first killed someone at the age of 14, and I was inflicting pain on other years before that.” He blinked, slowly.  
“You’re a soldier now.” Erwin replied.  
“And that absolves me?”  
“It gives you a new purpose.”  
“Huh…” Levi looked away again.  
It was obvious Levi was done talking. And Erwin knew, the things Levi was saying was not what was truly on his mind, it was all just a distraction.  
^^  
The most terrible sound awoke he’d ever heard awoke Erwin. A piercing, wounded, haunting kind of screaming that sounded close to a howl.  
A few moments disorientation and then Erwin clearly understood what was happening. He hurried to the guest room door, hoping Levi hadn’t woken too many others yet.  
Levi was still asleep. Erwin was amazed that he hadn’t been woken by the amount of noise he was making.  
For a few moments, all Erwin could do was stand there. His vision seemed to blur as the waves of noise crashed over him. It wasn’t just the sound affecting him though. It was the pure pain of it. The suffering. It wasn’t as if Erwin was a stranger to people being in pain. He’d witnessed enough deaths and heard their death cries but this… This sounded like suffering even deeper than that. And, just for a few moments, Erwin felt powerless against it.  
Finally he stepped forward, crouching beside the bed he placed a hand on Levi’s shoulder, shaking him gently at first, then a little more roughly. He placed a hand over Levi’s mouth, just to try and stop the screaming. It seemed that was what finally woke Levi up.  
The split second between sleep and waking was all it took for the situation to change dramatically.  
Erwin found himself suddenly on his back, Levi having rolled off the bed on top of him, pinning both of his arms down.  
There were no hints that Levi had just woken up, even though Erwin was certain that was the case, Levi had been asleep only a moment before. Yet here he was, on full alert. His eyes were wide, dangerously wild looking as he leaned down close to Erwin’s face.  
His voice was level, though perhaps a little rasped from the sleep screams. And though quiet, there was no mistaking the threat in his voice.  
“You can chain me up and lock me wherever the hell you like. But if you ever place your hand over my mouth like that again I promise you will not keep your fingers intact.”  
Erwin blinked, slowly, trying to keep his shock as hidden as possible.  
“You were having a nightmare.” Erwin said, calmly. “I simply came to check on you. My hand was only on your mouth so you wouldn’t wake anyone else with your screaming.” 

Levi’s eyes narrowed, and his lips twisted into a snarl.  
For a moment it seemed as if even Levi wasn’t sure what he was going to do next.  
Then, quite swiftly, Levi got to his feet and settled on the bed again. “Fine. Sorry to disturb your sleep.”  
Erwin sat up, observing the way Levi leant back against the wall, his eyes fixed on the window.  
“Will you sleep again now?” He asked.  
Levi shook his head. “I had that nightmare. If I try to sleep again… Chances are it’ll come back. I don’t want that.”  
Erwin got to his feet, considering this.  
He left the room and came back a moment later. He held out something to Levi.  
When Levi looked up he was surprised to see it was a book that Erwin was offering him. 

“If you don’t sleep… Perhaps this will help keep you mind off things?”  
Levi frowned, not as if he was angry this time. More like he was curious. He took the book and flicked through the pages.  
“What makes you so sure I can even read?”  
Erwin smiled. “You’re from the Underground, but that doesn’t mean you’re uneducated.”  
Levi glanced up, then quickly away again.  
“Thanks.” He muttered.  
Erwin watched as Levi settled back and opened the book. He noticed that while his eyes moved slowly across the page he was, as Erwin predicted, perfectly capable to reading and enjoying a book.  
Erwin left again and settled back into bed.  
^^  
The next morning, Erwin went to check on Levi. He was unsurprised to find Levi was still on the bed. But he was a little surprised to see him still reading.  
Erwin smiled. “Been reading all night?” He asked.  
Levi nodded. “It’s a good book.”  
“If you wanted breakfast…”  
Levi made no reply. And so, Erwin continued on without him.  
He had another meeting with Commander Shadis, who demanded an update on Levi.  
“We can’t house and feed a soldier who refuses to be a soldier. We also cannot afford to keep prisoners here for an extended time. If he wishes to be treated as a prisoner, we can hand him over to the Military Police now. As much as I’d hoped to make use of his strength and skill, if he won’t cooperate, he’s nothing more than a hindrance and a drain on us.”  
“We put in a lot of effort to get him here, I don’t want us to be so hasty in letting that go.”  
“It’s closing in on a week now Erwin. Eventually you’re going to have to accept-“ 

They both stopped abruptly at the edge of the training grounds.  
The soldiers were gathered, as was usual for this time of day, drilling themselves on areas they felt needed improvement. While they would have more guided training later, this time allowed soldiers freedom to work on what they felt they needed. It also helped discipline them to understand themselves better and help them make decisions about themselves 

On the opposite side of the grounds stood Hange, animated as ever as they worked with a partner, apparently trying to copy what they were being shown.  
And in front of them, in full uniform and carefully, expertly applied straps, was Levi. As they watched, he shook his head, stepped forward and adjusted Hange’s stance, then stepped back, nodded and motioned them to continue. 

Erwin smiled, it growing ever wider as he watched the two unlikely soldiers working with each other.  
“He’s… Actually showing Hange what he knows?” 

Beside Erwin, Commander Shadis huffed, oddly contentedly. “Seems you were right after all, Erwin. He’s going to be quite the asset.” 

^^  
Late that night, Levi stopped by Erwin’s room.  
“I hope you won’t mind. I… Will sleep in the barracks as usual from now on.” Levi said.  
Erwin nodded. “That’s fine. This arrangement was only ever meant to be temporary.”  
Levi offered a small nod in agreement.  
A few moments silence, then Levi turned to leave.  
“Levi?”  
“Yes.”  
“May I ask what made you finally change your mind?”  
Levi shrugged. “Couldn’t say. Perhaps I got bored of being locked up in your guest room.” His eyes widened very slightly, and somehow, Erwin understood.  
Erwin had treated him like a person.  
Not a soldier.  
Not an asset.  
Not even a criminal.  
Erwin wondered how much quicker this could’ve been resolved if only he’d realised this was all Levi wanted. How simple his needs truly were.  
Another hanging silence.  
“And Levi?”  
“Yes? What?”  
“Return my book when you’re done with it?”  
A small snort of a laugh. “Naturally.” Levi agreed.


End file.
